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07 August 2012

The Most Frustrating Team in the GIMP Strikes Again!

No, it's not the Irish. It's the Tournament favorites, France.  "Manager" Adam Tindle has gained many-a-enemies over the years for his style of managing, but this time Irish gaffer Ian Thompson spoke out. Once again he [Tindle] proves that he will display zero tactical poise and employ methods that wouldn't be fit on a Pee Wee soccer team in America," Thompson barked. "He just continues to play as if he's never seen a match before, I don't know, maybe he never has."

The latest match between the two managers saw a 2-2 draw with France taking an early two goal lead. The first goal saw Remy sprinting towards the corner flag curving in and firing from a tough angle. Keeper Shay Given deflected the shot nearly straight in the air where Remy out jumped two Irish defenders to finish a header over the top of Given from the edge of the six yard box.

Not long after the first goal and another lengthy possession for the Irish, it was Malouda that was off to the races for the opposite corner flag.  He crossed in where Benzema hit a superbly timed volley, past Given and into the upper 90. "That was a tough blow," explained Thompson "but I knew that our guys had control of the game and if we continued to keep the pressure on, we would have a chance."

With the Irish applying constant pressure and fending off the deep through ball and attempted counters, they had their opener. After a string of excellent passes, and a mis-tackle by [Philippe] Mexes, Kevin Doyle was behind the defense where he slotted over for the oncoming Robbie Keane.  "The pass was too heavy, but Keane-y did a great job of controlling and putting it in past the diving keeper," Thompson described.

Most of the second half went by with the Irish looking more likely to score keeping possession and unlocking the French defense time and time again.  "[Hugo] Lloris looked like he wasn't going to be beaten," Thompson exclaimed, "he's got reflexes like Superman, it's not surprising that he had a 10.00 match rating." The 89' came and the Irish finally had their equalizer. Whelan sent a great ball in where [John] O'Shea out-maneuvered Mexes to head home past the Man of the Match, Lloris. 

The single point was a let down for Thompson and the Irish as they felt they were clearly the better team and should have came away with all three points.

Match Facts:
Possession: Ireland 61% - France 39%
Shots/On Target: Ireland 13/11 - France 10/6
Goals:  Remy 3' Benzema 10' Keane 24' O'Shea 89'
Assists: Diarra* Malouda Doyle Whelan
Man of the Match/Match Rating: Hugh Lloris - GK - France/10.00 

*Assist came from a through pass from own half where Remy took 48 touches before scoring

30 comments:

  1. Yes!

    83 comments.

    2 threats to retire.

    1 Tebow reference.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ingo to accuse me of stealing Ian's password and writing this under his name?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Que the "this is how I have to play to be competitive" claims from the man with the highest rated squad. 6 points in 7 games...

    Maybe it's time to stop playing cock ball and not getting any results other then pissing off your opponent and start taking your losses playing proper football

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Que the..."

      que

      QUE

      ¿QUE?

      Delete
    2. Cue... Another iPhone slip up. Don't have time to preview

      Delete
  4. I kind of understood his argument when he was going up against teams that were equal to his ability wise, but the Irish are substantially worse than any team in the tournament.

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    Replies
    1. It's similar to a certain "blank-cheque" club assembling a team for hundreds of millions of roubles and still having to park 10/11 men behind the ball to win.

      Delete
    2. Name the team that we were better on paper for in the champions league when we were parking the bus.

      Certainly not on the same level as Barca or Bayern.

      Also, we played defense. We didn't invent a cock formation in order to fit our 4 fastest guys on the field who we could punt long balls too from the opening kick off on. We did what we had to do to win and stay in the champions league because some jackass 33 year old Portuguese cunt couldn't muster up a 4th place finish out of the squad. We needed to win the champions league and we did. Tindle, current holder, doesn't need to win anything. He needs to play right so others can enjoy themselves while playing a football simulation. Instead, win or lose, some people (you, ian and me) have to spend the next 30 minutes over a toilet throwing up from the nausea caused by dealing with the cockery that just took place against France. Also, no results coming from his cockiness. None. Less than a point a match to be exact.

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  5. One more ironic note...

    45 minute substitute, Mathieu Valbuena (5ft 4in) was brought on for Malouda (5ft 11in) to add more cock. Valbuena was placed on the near post for the corner in which O'Shea headed directly over Valbuena's head for the equalizer.

    One might think that France would've escaped with all three points if the manager was focusing on playing right instead of trying to up the cock in his roster.

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  6. Replies
    1. No he's not. But you know what he is that makes him infinitely better in FIFA....

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    2. BLACK!!!

      Hoo-ray for racism

      Hoo-ray for beer!

      Delete
  7. Remember when Ingo would bring becks on to play on the left?

    Or when he would launch cross after cross into Defoe as crouch sat and watched from the bench?

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  8. It seems to me that this whole debate boils down to practice method:

    Those who play friendlies against other DFA managers vs. those who predominantly practice in the "head 2 head friendlies" mode of xbox live.

    The ideological differences between the two sides can be characterised by the styles of each respective method.

    Thoughts?

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  9. Also there position on the table... Just sayin

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  10. It definitely directly correlates. I would add using career mode as a form of practice that would be greater than online friendlies against 12 year olds..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes playing on "ultra-hardcore" but then dumbing down the computer settings so all they can do is take three steps and drool on themselves all so you can rack up 10 goals with your be-a-pro to juice up his stats really helps... My apologies for that run on sentence

      Delete
  11. The style fails to provide sustainable success because it is dependant upon the opponent mainly.

    When you do not prioritise possession, in fact actively throw it away at every opportunity, you are at the mercy of your opponent's game plan.

    It seems to be a defensive, counter attacking philosophy minus the emphasis on defense. That is why we see so many goalkeeper motms - the defense is not preventing shots on target.

    A 1 or 2 man counter attack will work, but only so many times (as a high rated FW stands a chance either running in zig-zags or out jumping an entire back line in EA's world) - and thus, is dependent upon conceding 1 or fewer goals.

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  12. Neuer had back-to-back 10.00 match ratings against France. What does that say about germany's tactics? Drop the motm cries Bc we all know it's bs.

    What's not bs is my admittedly "cock" style of play (if that's what you want to call it). I was tired of this facade of a league that just serves as a forum for Pruitt to build an ideal world where Liverpool and Germany win every cup. I know that was fun for him and his boy toy who has no problem living life in constant submission to him. If we all played the
    same way, Pruitt would win (and did) Bc he is simply the best at the game itself. I have to use alternate tactics even though I have the far better team on paper (sarcasm). I realize that is frustrating but I refuse to go back to the world of trying to play the same game and getting consistently crushed but having some sort of moral victory Bc they think I played the proper way.

    And as far as results, 1) I want to get this summer tourney over with so I can get some money from a gamestop exchange and 2) we're exactly where we want to be in the table. Look at the groupings and figure it out yourself.

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  13. 1.) "Neuer had back-to-back 10.00 match ratings against France."

    - Untrue.

    2.) "...I have the far better team on paper (sarcasm)."

    - Not sarcasm, that is true.

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  14. Few things:

    You have become so frustrating to play against that I handed 3 points to you in a forfeit last season.

    Your style of play has changed to prevent Pruitt from "winning all the trophies"? I think Ian, Crittenden and I have done a decent job at that over the last 3 or 4 seasons.

    Where are the improvements in your results? You haven't finished in the league higher than 4th since leaving united.

    ReplyDelete