Crittenden advocates equality.

"Let it be known to everyone and all that I, Aaron Crittenden, did not and would not "grab at" Mr. Burns' mobile device. It was handed to me. Willingly and graciously handed too me. I then presumed to cancel the song that was playing, and placed it out of reach and out of mind. Some might call this malicious. I call it equality and payback. You might recall a certain situation in which Roma was beating Liverpool in league play until a lousy rendition of "You'll never walk alone" was played over the communication devices. This sparked the players of Liverpool to a one point win over the Wolves. When Davie asked me to play the song, his team was winning by one and I jumped at the opportunity to get even. Hence the phrase equality. Davie would have you believe that these two incidents are unrelated and not comparable. I respectfully disagree and say, "We are all square now, little boy. I can't help it that the boys in blue blew the match. Just like you can not help that the mighty Wolves blew it against Liverpool. Get over yourself. You got beat."

These false accusations are disheartening, but are not unexpected from the league outcast who attacks anyone and everyone with malice and scathing rage. But nothing has shocked me as much as the mendacity involved within the league itself... A true pity. 

"As for the talk about my "rod-like tendencies", I have but a few things to say. "I will not apologize for taking a serious and vested interest in my scholastics and athletics. These are not reasons for me to be accused of "clogging up the league". These are simply cheap shots from two managers, who will not be named. Simply desperate hail marries in an effort to get under my skin and into my head. It isn't working you two. Sorry. I do find it interesting, however that a double standard exists when it comes too "bailing." I guess it is ok to bail (twice) in order to get intoxicated and play tummysticks with a group of elder gentlemen (and a single lady?) who simply like the same football team as a certain manager. It seems strange that some incidents go unnoticed and unbroadcasted for the general public too see. I guess it would be too much of a G.I.M.P. welfare issue if the most beloved manager were called out in a hypocratic bind."

"All I wish to do is to get back to football. I look to have a clean and exciting game against German manager, Liam Pruitt, in the international final. We have played nothing but quality and exhilarating matches from day one, and I do not see a reason why this should not continue. Coming off of a decisive win over One seed, Italy, I hope to continue my winning ways and play Liam as I did when I defeated him in the qualifying stage of this tournament."

 

Good riddance and good day.

-ABC a.k.a. stonecold, the foreman, blonde-rod, burly-bear, and any other derogatory and criticizing name you turncoat bati boys have named me over the years