Whilst the aged DFA veteran can cast his memory back to the dark ages of GIMP yore and recall a friendlier time between "Sir" Burns and "The Italian", those of you not blessed with the physical and emotional scars of the early seasons may be surprised by this stroll down memory lane.
Burns' first season (Spring of 2007) was one of feeble capitulation and outright violence. During this time of obvious hardship, a GIMP founding father (Ingoglia) took it upon himself to mold this rough rookie in his own image. There were times when the pair would refer to each other as teacher and pupil, respectively. This continued even into the DFA's enlightened era. Burns' continued to fail quite miserably and the final judgment as to whether he took Ingoglia's teachings to heart or not can be made by the reader.
The tipping point came in the Fall season of 2009. Following a campaign filled with several examples of goodwill, the "apprentice" began to get the better of the "master" with increasing regularity. Perhaps it was the choice to manage London rival, Tottenham or his new found tactics which Burns had taken umbrage with; but the once sickening displays of affection gave way to profanity-laden rants over the headset and finally devolved into the self-indulgent back and forth we see here today.Is this all a case of one manager turning his back on his maker, or a jealous instructor longing to reach the heights he once traversed? Either way the DFA is richer for it, and long may this rivalry rage in the hearts and minds (and crotches) of all involved. For without conflict, competition becomes uninspiring.
Wait, so at one point, Sir Burns actually advocated the implementation "one touch passes" and "fast" "hard defense". What a hypocrite! This past season (and every other season in which he hasn't been a complete disaster to himself and the league) Burns regularly bashed any opponent for such tactics, with outrageous claims of a lack of skill and/or football knowledge. Pick a side and stick to it. You flip/flop more than John Kerry in '04.
ReplyDeleteIn that article I was asking ingo to stop trying to play the "right way". It wasn't working for him and he needed to go back to his cock ball in order to even have a shot at winning a game at that point in the season.
ReplyDeleteClaims of lack of footballing knowledge aren't outrageous either. They are in fact disturbingly accurate
Anyone who is familiar with "DavidWade"'s last 3 months of friendlies and the "tactics" he's employed therein will certainly not be surprised to hear him advocate kick and rush football.
ReplyDeleteHe has done nothing but sully his (self-given) reputation and indicate that this next season will see him backslide into the GIMP wilderness he once roamed.
I, for one, would welcome a D Wade backslide into slide tackle infamy. Never is the league more exciting (and more difficult for the commissioner to maintain track of bookings) as when we see a constant going to ground by the Boys-in-Blue. I say, harken back to the days of old and take up your rightful title as the manager who "won't let that go unchallenged."
ReplyDeleteAsk Ian and Ingo what it's like to play against me when I play right. I seem to remember having the ball for over 60% of the time and taking close to 30 shots on target. I will admit that the last 3 weeks, not months, have been some of the most disgracefully managed games I've ever been a part of. They have however produce some of the most memorable accidental goals in the history of FIFA.
ReplyDeleteI agree, ABC Ritt, I miss the "old" Chelsea and England. When blind rage took precedence over hitting it long and hoping. When burly strength and speed to a backseat to petty digital attempts at injury.
ReplyDeleteLong ball/right trigger merchantry goes hand in hand with reckless and violent defense. Don't forget your roots...b*tch.
You'd like to see me fall from 2nd place to 6th wouldn't you? Not gonna happen.
ReplyDeleteI'd love it...LOVE IT. (Holding my breath to see how many people get that reference)
ReplyDeleteAlthough I will be a little more delicate than was Liam, I do have to agree. David, what is the benefit of always chasing Liam for top spot in the league with no chance of ever overtaking him? Thats like hoping to dance even though you are a paraplegic. Instead of always being cast to the bounds of mediocrity and failure (second place is the first loser, remember?), blast yourself, one injured player at a time, back into the largest GIMP spotlight that you have ever seen. The Merciless Merk Manic who would rather lose 3-0 due to technicality (the sending off of near all 11 of your playing players) than see the other team walk off the field on thier own strength and accord.
ReplyDeleteUmm Aaron... If I don't win the final match of a competition than I'm getting people sent off and whipping in own goals. In all my final's appearances I've either won the game by a goal or lost it by 10 with a hand full of bookings.
ReplyDeleteYes...you have oozed class your entire GIMP career.
ReplyDeleteI'm oozing something right now... In me wiener that is
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